The more I read on subjects of self-help and the like, I notice the themes are very much just Zen Buddhism channeled into a Western mindset. Not that they all work, but some really do. But it makes me think of going to the original source of everything. When I work, when I create, with each breath in and each breath out I should acknowledge this source. It’s the journey that counts. It’s the journey that matters. The next big wave will be cracking the ego. How do you spell that in English?
What if I accomplish something? What if I accomplish nothing? Success should be feeling fulfilled and happy. My ego needs fed. What goes up in smoke only feeds ego. I cannot decide on being happy or being recognized as more important.
Maybe my art will change the world someday. Maybe not? What if I’m gone before it is appreciated? Did you love what you were doing? Say thank you and get back to work.
Where is your spark? I want to see you smile, to run, to play. Are you sick? Are you sad? If you could speak I would know. But you can’t. What will make you come back to life?
I am trying to find a project to work on via my blog. Doing a daily haiku was very fun but it had run it’s course. Maybe more poetry? I would love to write a story, but I haven’t had an idea I think is worth exploring. I also could write something non-fiction (which is pretty much what this blog is, my life and struggles).
Whatever I choose it must come from Love. As long as I stay pure and focused on true expression, I will be satisfied. Just don’t let me ego read that.
Love as pure as ours
has not been seen on this earth
and may not again.
Another mistake made. When will I learn?
Well wouldn’t you know it, some positivity has shown its self. A few calls for work, that’s a great start. A good night’s sleep; so hard to come by but so great. Now can I make it two nights in a row?
Everyone struggles. How do you get passed it? Turning to unhealthy habits is not the answer, but that seems to be how I cope. It is a nice warm blanket for your mind, but it burns me out too fast. The lack of good sleep wears and wears until I have anxiety about fun things just because I’m worried about being tired. Moderation. Center yourself. Right here, right now, what can you do to feel better and increase your chances at success going forward? I can make business better, but I can get out there and meet people, and I can work on the internal systems to prepare for the calls. The stress comes from the day to day waiting for the phone to ring. I will be ok, it’s my family that I’m worried about. How can I bear the brunt of this while staying sane and healthy myself?
When they say it’s down I’m up.
When they say it’s up I’m down.
Are they behind, or am I?
When they say swim I drown.
Instead of feeling pressure to do things, why not just do what comes naturally? If it’s work, so be it. Music, writing, sitting, watching – it’s ok. There is no pressure outside of what you put on yourself. Breaks are ok. You are just one person, not supporting the whole universe. You can do it, and you will do it.